Paige Pirkey

Transitioning from Fate to Destiny

Posted on by Administrator

by Paige Pirkey

Have you ever wondered how to transition from fate to your chosen destiny? I have, too. After years of reading, reflecting, and searching, I believe I’ve found the answer; and I’d like to share my learned lessons with you in this article. My learned lessons center around this idea called “purpose”. Our purpose is our chosen destiny, but how do we find it?

The first step is to meet yourself where you’re at. We must be open and honest with ourselves. We must be willing to dive deep into the inner recesses of our hearts to discover what lies beyond the veil of our emotions. Under every negative emotion lies a fear: A fear of abandonment, rejection, betrayal, being found unworthy, unlovable, broken… As we identify this fear and bring it to the surface, we’re able to unlock another layer of armor around our hearts by greeting it with the keys of love, compassion, and presence.

The second step is to trust yourself. Trust is essential and requires patience. In fact, to fully develop trust, one’s patience may need patience. Both patience and trust are skill sets that must be developed along the path to finding one’s purpose. Even as I type now, I notice the physiological experience of tightness in my chest and jaw… I then notice the stories I tell myself: That this process is taking too long or that I’m not doing it right… But perhaps, instead, I’m hoping to deliver the best, most uplifting message… If I choose to shift my interpretation of my perception, the understanding and experience of it also shifts, from anxiety to enthusiasm. After all, my purpose, or at least discovering it, should bring me joy. I’ve learned that, sometimes, we must unlearn what we’ve learned and trust our decision making, that we’re on the right path. And it takes patience to rebuild that trust in ourselves and our unfolding process.

The third step is to recognize our strength, our resilience, our bravery! We need to give ourselves credit for our tenacious efforts; again, we cycle back to phases 1 and 2: Meeting yourself where you’re at and trusting yourself. The process of discovering and living your purpose requires time, effort, and practice –all of which require strength; this will lead us to our chosen destiny. By purposefully, continuously choosing to disrupt our old ways of experiencing life, we create a new story, our destiny. This is one of the most loving acts we can do for ourselves –and passing along this strength to future generations is one of the most loving acts we can do for them.

And we can do this together. As promised in my previous article, I will now dedicate time to introducing the pilot project that I recently created, implemented, and evaluated:

Yoga and mindfulness practices are supportive on the journey from fate to destiny. Yoga uses the mind, body, and breath as tools for self-realization and self-actualization. By engaging with a physical pose, one enters a moderately uncomfortable, stress-induced state; this state of being reflects the stress we encounter in our daily lives. In that process, we focus on our breath in the present moment. And in that moment, we discover those repetitive stories that we tell ourselves that lead us to our fate. This realization presents us with the opportunity to choose a different story, to change how we engage with and interpret our experience. And with time and disciplined practice, this effortful process becomes automated and thus, actualized. We have, then, embodied the skills needed to transition ourselves from fate to destiny…

These life skills are exactly what I taught to kindergarteners, 1st graders, and 2nd graders at a local school system. The school system serves mostly minority students (54% Latino; 38% African American; 5% European American; 2% Asian); ninety-five percent of students’ families reside in the urban Memphis area with 77% living in Shelby County zip codes below the lowest median household income (below $42k). Approximately 91% of students meet the federal guidelines for free/reduced lunch.

The pilot program was 3-weeks long wherein students [and some teachers] received 4, 30-minute sessions per week. Below comprises selected excerpts from this study:

  • Students’ post-program excerpts:
    • “Yoga taught me more about myself, about what I think is better than what other people think I should think.” –1st grade, girl
    • “[When I’m feeling sad or stressed or overwhelmed], I do yoga to feel better, to remind us that we can do anything.” –2nd grade, girl
    • “We also learned that we can feel how we want to feel –even if we feel sad. It’s okay to feel our feelings.” –1st grade, boy
    • “It teached me how to be creative, like trying the yoga thing made me excited, and then, I went back home, and it made me build new crafts. I used to give up.” –2nd grade, boy
    • “It’s helped me learn about how our feelings communicate.” –2nd grade, girl
  • Teachers’ post-program excerpts:
    • “…[T]hey showed patience… I definitely saw some growth with independence and self-direction.” –Teacher F
    • “I’ve seen that change in my students as well; they definitely are more eager to help each other after the program, too.” –Teacher J
    • “A lot of my kids took your breathing technique… I would watch them do it in the room when they were upset.” –Teacher A
    • “I want to say thank you for creating an environment for my student to be relaxed and calm and to be a kid… I was pleasantly surprised, and it made me so happy. I think he was truly comfortable around you, and just truly relaxed around you, which is truly amazing because you’d only known him for a few weeks.” –Teacher A

To be sure, I learned just as much from my students [if not more], as they learned from me. For persons interested in learning more or collaborating in some capacity on this project, please reach out to me via email at paige.pirkey@memphis.edu.

For an audio recording of this post, click here.

Paige Pirkey is a Benjamin L. Hooks Institute Academic Research Fellow. Her current research focuses at the heart of change-making education, centering on urban schools by adopting a bottom-up approach that promotes healing and self-empowerment. 

 

 

 

Intertwining Destinies: Heroes’ Hearts Beating as One

Posted on by Administrator

by Paige Pirkey

Have you ever wondered about your potential –the possibilities for your life? Life is to be expressed, a story to be lived. Stories give meaning and life to our existence; they represent the truths we tell ourselves. Stories can either serve as a gift filled with little treasures or as a landmine filled with loss. How we see these stories reflects a pattern, and that pattern reflects the probable possibility of our life. But as conscious creators of our story, we have the power to decide, to choose between fate and destiny: Fate is the outcome of recycling past stories, whereas destiny is the outcome of choosing to create a new story. But how do we change our outcome, our possibility, our story?

We must first begin by evaluating our role in our own story. What roles, or characters, do we tend to play; which feel more comfortable, and why is that? I encourage us all to explore this with openness and curiosity. WE are the conscious creators of our life, and we get to choose whether to shame, judge, or criticize. Life is but a dream, a dream to be chosen and lived. But how can we be expected to live that dream if we continue in a recycled pattern of shame? This is not to say this process is easy. Part of choosing our role requires that we discover our true, inner strength. Our roles are for us to choose, and this strength is required to choose that role in the creation of our dream.

I am grateful for the opportunity to choose, for this opportunity to exercise free will –yet with this power, I’ve learned, comes great responsibility. Our choices impact future generations. The choices we make in our lives influence their choices –their stories. We weave our destinies. We forge our own destinies through the truths we tell ourselves, but what are we forging, what are we choosing to create, if it is based in shame, judgment, and criticism? What kind of world are we creating for ourselves and future generations? We get to decide what that world will look like –and I can’t hope to do it alone, which is why I’m writing this article… I need your help. The world is neither mine nor yours to create. It is ours –but we must be willing to combine our strengths, intertwining our destinies, for the greater good of humankind.

This brings us to the second step… We all must decide the role we hope to play in not only our own lives but also the role we choose to play in the lives of others. Do we hope to be the ruler, the bystander, the jester –or can we choose a different character, a different role? Across religions and cultures, there seems to be one such character that we all secretly aspire to be: the Hero. But again, will we choose it? Our ancestors: Were they aware of this choice, or did they unknowingly succumb to their own fate? Do we choose to repeat the mistakes, the wounds, the traumas of our past –or do we choose to create a new story, together? I realize what I’m saying doesn’t feel easy or simple –and yet, all it requires is a decision, a choice. A choice to forgive: to release the transgressions of those who chose to act in alignment with their fate, rather than their destiny. This choice not only frees them, but it frees us –to move forward, free from the pain and destructive nature of the past, to move forward with hope, love, and grace.

Although forgiveness begins with a choice, it is a process. And even though it will take time and effort, your destiny, our destinies, are worth it. And this kind of forgiveness, the type that can transcend us from fate to destiny, requires the strength of a hero. We all have this potential, this possibility, within us, but we must decide whether to choose it. The quality of our story, of our destiny, depends upon whether we are willing to show up as a hero to test and develop our strength.

Notice now, if you are doubting your own ability and the ability of others: Is that your fate talking –or your destiny? I believe in you. I believe in your abilities, but you must be willing to believe in yourself. If you say you cannot, then you are probably right… And the same can be said if you say that you CAN.

So, what will your decision be? Will you step into your destiny and be the hero you were always meant and able to be…?

I am open and willing to cooperate, to co-create our destiny. My intention is to begin the development of a project. In fact, I’ve already conducted the pilot phase, yet am seeking collaborators to expand this initial effort.

For more information, please see “Transitioning from Fate to Destiny.” If this sounds of interest, please contact me via email at paige.pirkey@memphis.edu. On the other hand, if this project is not of direct interest, yet you believe I may be able to support your efforts, please feel free to contact me.

Thank you for holding space, devoting the time and effort to read this article, and allowing me to share my truth. I am honored by this opportunity to share my joy, love, and passions with you.

For an audio recording of this post, click here.

Paige Pirkey is a Benjamin L. Hooks Institute Academic Research Fellow. Her current research focuses at the heart of change-making education, centering on urban schools by adopting a bottom-up approach that promotes healing and self-empowerment.