There is a difference between listening and being an active listener.   Scientific research tells us that we only retain 10-15% of what we hear.  Sometimes, even when we think we are listening, we are really thinking about other things and not paying full attention to the person or persons who are speaking to us.

Becoming an active listener is an important skill.  There are five key elements that will help you not only hear the other person, but better understand what they are sharing with you.

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention

• Make eye contact with the speaker
• Concentrate your thoughts on the speaker
• Let the speaker finish before preparing a response
• Avoid  distractions from environmental factors
• Be aware of the speakers body language

2. Show That You’re Listening

Body language and gestures to convey your attention

• Nod and acknowledge agreement when appropriate
• Smile
• Keep open and inviting body posture
• Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

• Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” and “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back
• Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say.” “Is this what you mean?”

Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

• Allow the speaker to finish each point in entirety before asking questions
• Never interrupt with counter arguments

5. Respond Appropriately

Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

• Be open, and honest in your response
• Assert your opinions respectfully
• Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated

Discussion Question:  Your assignment for this section is to visit the Exploratorium and choose one of the listening games to play.  Please describe the game you chose as well as your results!