Sex addiction is hard to talk about and even more difficult to go through. It’s seen as a secret act, is the root of infidelity in some cases, and is touchy because every relationship treats it differently. Men and women are held on different unfair standards for sex, especially by the media even today. We might be outspoken with our loved ones about the activity, guys may pass on their favorite videos of sex in their “bro-chats”, and girls may shy away from sharing what is or isn’t working from them while they have sex. Everyone is different on their perspectives about it. Not everyone is willing to share them.
When it comes to a sex addiction, the line is drawn when the act transforms from pleasure to a full-fledged dependency. A person with an addiction to sex might be severely insecure and see active validation by the act, be addicted to porn, talking to people outside of their relationship, have a history of cheating, or find that they just can’t go a few hours without thinking about it. No matter if you are a girl or boy, it’s important to know what the signs of a person with a sex addiction are and if you might be with someone who has one. Understanding where their behavior is stemming will help you fortify your ability to talk to them and direct them to help.
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Get through sex addiction with healing.
Signs of Sex Addiction
It should be totally normal for a person to want to have sex or experience it with someone that they care about or at least interested in. Sex is part of being a human, it’s like eating or sleeping during the day. It’s a natural cause and it’s the reason we are all here today. At the same time, addiction experts can draw out a few key symptoms of people who have a sex addiction since it takes a toll on their life and mental clarity.
If the person you’re with is showing signs of the following behaviors, they may be displaying compulsive behavior:
- They have cheated and demonstrated addictive behavior before. I believe in second chances, and just because someone cheated before doesn’t mean they’ll do the same thing with you. People can change and shape up if they choose to do so for themselves. If the person’s history unravels and it looks like a serial line of infidelity, you may want to stop and think. What is causing this reason to stray away? Are they having unusually high standards for their partners? Or are they addicted to filling in their sexual ego? These are all questions to brew in the back of your mind if you realize you need to talk to your partner. If the person tells you in the beginning that they have cheated in the past, take it as a blessing. Not everyone admits to cheating and they are doing you a favor if that’s a deal breaker for yourself.
- They demonstrate compulsive behavior. This means that they can easily get hooked to something that excites them, like sex. They might make up a lot of lies to cover up their tracks as well. People who have a compulsive behavior issue tend to be compulsive liars, even towards the people they care the most about. They can’t control it after it becomes a bad habit. You won’t be able to cover all of their tracks during the day, and there’s no need to put a tracker on their phone to tell. That’s the extreme end and usually you will realize that their actions aren’t matching up to their words. Overall, if you are in a relationship with someone that doesn’t make you feel secure or supported enough, you need to get out. Usually you can trust your gut feeling in this case.
- They lack mental clarity. Someone who has a sex addiction won’t be able to cope during a normal day without thinking about sex in some shape or form. A normal conversation with a girl or boy could cross the line, they could get caught for inappropriate browsing at work, or they could be stashing photos or videos on their phones that lead to an issue. Leads that are pointing to consistent topics on sex on social media should be one of the dead tale signs of sex addiction. Maybe they leave the room in the middle of a movie, stay in the bathroom too long, or are taking their lunch break at odd times during the day. Unusual behaviors like this and often looking “out of it” could be a sign that their head isn’t where it should be. If they also say they are helping themselves down there many times during the day, also watch out. This is one trait that can cross the line really quick, especially if they are at work or at school during the day. An exorbitant number of times a day is not normal for anyone. Take it as a flashing red light of their oncoming sex addiction.
- They may flirt or sext too much. If you know that they’re talking about sex with someone of the same sex as you, you may start to feel upset and insecure that they’re flirting with that person as well. It hurts to read messages that are explicit, especially if you’ve already told your partner that that behavior isn’t okay. If they respect you enough, they will continue. If they continue, you know what to do.
Get Sexual Addiction Treatment
If you suspect that a person you’re spending time with, dating, or even married to might have a sex addiction to really watch their behavior. Maybe you realize that you have a sex addiction that is interfering with your relationships, your mental clarity, and your productivity above all at work. If it’s taking a toll on you, it’s definitely needs to be addressed as soon as possible with the help of a professional therapist or even an online support group if you are too embarrassed. Sex is still a highly taboo topic for people to talk about, especially if they are developing an addiction to it.
If you are especially committed to the person that you are in a relationship with, gethelp and talk to them in an intervention style manner. Approach them with an open mind and don’t point any fingers at them if they haven’t been on their best behavior. All of us hurt for different reasons, have different vices, and take out our stress in different ways. Some people smash weights in the gym, some go out, some take drugs, some get in fights with their loved ones, and some turn to sex. Everyone is different so it takes time to understand their point of view. If you don’t want to see them fall in the future, consider talking to them about getting sex addiction recovery so they can regain a better focus on their life. Sex addiction is definitely conquerable if you take matters into your hands.
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Men and women can deal with sexual addiction.