One thing in the Ellison, Steinfield, and Lampe study that really struck me was the idea that those who have an over abundance of Facebook friends are actually considered less socially attractive. The feeling that these people were “friending out of desperation” was something that I always felt, and I know that feeling is shared by many who deal with Facebook. I had Facebook for a very brief period of time, and during that time I never exceded 100 ‘friends.’ I never felt the need to be connected to people that I did not have a personal connection with in my offline life. However, I would constantly receive friend requests from those I barely knew, and it always seemed like they had hundreds of ‘friends.’ The idea of the “Friendster whore” is very real, and one of the more interesting things about Facebook (in my opinion.)
However, amassing a large network of weak or latent ties on Facebook can be extremely beneficial in some situations. Friends of mine who have bands, are artists or have started new businesses, for example, have a large number of ‘friends’ on Facebook. This is extremely beneficial to their “networking” abilities, but has little to no effect on their actual social life.
9 thoughts on “The “Friends” List”
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I know many “friend” whores, and I always thought there is no way this person is friends in real life with all those people. I had a problem where I first began my facebook a long time ago I would accept many of the people that requested me, even if I did not have a tight connection with them. Until all I would see in my newsfeed was their stuff, and I would never see my friends so I started deleting them because I did not care what those “friends” who were not important to my life were doing.
That was one part of the article that I really didn’t understand. If I had to limit myself to 100 Facebook friends, I would have to unfriend many people that I really do have in-person bonds with. Some people who have lots of Facebook friends have lived all over the country and known a lot of people, and they aren’t just adding people to have more friends. :)
I’ve been using Facebook since 2008 and I have only 65 friends. I am so picky in my real life, that’s why I don’t like to have hundreds of friends online that they mean nothing to me or have nothing to share with just to have a long list of friends. I know someone on Facebook who she has the worst personality in real life and have over 1000 friend on Facebook. So I guess the readings for this week are so true about this point that whoever have abundance of friends on Facebook they are less attractive socially.
I’m not sure I agree with the research that found people with an abundance of Facebook friends are less socially attractive. I don’t think it’s good or bad in and of itself. There needs to be more context in the study. My experience was that those with the most friends on Facebook generally had big offline networks, e.g. fraternity and sorority people. We all have our opinions of greek life (I was not greek), but I didn’t consider them friend “whores” just because of the amount of Facebook friends they had. If anything, I thought it was more of a social stigma to have a small amount of friends.
I think this is an interesting topic. It is strange how certain numbers can give us differing impressions. I agree too many can lead to the perception of inauthenticity, but too few friends is equally as discrediting. You have to land right in the middle to fit in to the homogenous structure of Facebook.
I understand the desire to stay connected to contacts we have met over the years, however strong or arbitrary – because of the potential resources and information that could come from that link. The practice becomes questionable when we call these ‘links’ ‘friends’ and then try to wrestle with their role.
I always thought that people were “friending out desperation” especially when everyone was so concern with how many people they had. Also on twitter people use to be concern with home many followers they had. I believe people actually do not have 100 of friends many are just acquaintances, friends of friends and mostly family.
Like you stated, I would have to say that a boundary will need to be formed on how many friends an individual should have on Facebook. While it could be good to befriend as many people as possible, the frustration of doing so could easily become overbearing. One example is how many of those “befriended” people will send “Happy Birthday” messages, like in a Julian Smith video I saw recently. Responding to all of those messages could take a lot of time away from a person’s other responsibilities, likely more important ones at that. Unfortunately, even friendships in online communities have to draw the line somewhere.
I can agree with the “Friendster whore” term. I used to have over 1000 friends on facebook, but as I got older I started to delete people I knew I didn’t have a real connection with. I think people used to just add people they went to school with just because “oh yeah, I’ve seen that person before, so I can add them as a friend”. I’m down to under 500 friends now and as I get older, I’m sure it’ll decrease. I like the idea of staying in contact with people I actually have connections with.
I completely agree with you. I have people requesting to be my friend and we have nothing in common. I rarely accept people who I do not know, unless it is for business purposes. I do see people “begging” for friends and adding people they do not know and uploading half naked pictures to keep their “friends” interested.